At the coffee store – 

Some troglodyte at the self-serve cream and sugar station just honked six pounds of snot into a napkin. He threw the soaked nap in the trash and then did a bare-handed cleanup and remnant check on his nostrils.

You can guess what this inconsiderate shit wagon does next. Yep, grabs the half n’ half pitcher with his booger paws, somehow managing to fondle every inch of it as he pours.

Marlin PerkinsHe mauls a handful of sugar packets, puts half back, and then goes three knuckles deep in the stir stick bin rummaging like a black bear searching a garbage can.

Is it a wonder that I have such disdain for the public sometimes? Marlin Perkins needs to bag n’ tag this animal and stick him in a zoo with chimps who throw their poo.

Not only is it gross and discourteous, we’re in the middle of a super bad flu season you dick. I like the option of coffee on the go, but damn, I think it’s gonna be home-brew only for a little awhile.

UPDATE: It took three whole days for the shock of my encounter with a Booger Bear in the wild to wear off and I was able to return to the coffee store.

1 Comment

  1. These are the same people that don’t clean up after their dogs poop on the sidewalks in NYC. I know why people are always looking down when they walk. its because they don’t want to step in dog shit! Now, I will never go into another starbucks without bringing my own spoon!

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